


The Nightmare~ Muriel (Short Story)

by madllamamomma



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad and Happy, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:40:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23886103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madllamamomma/pseuds/madllamamomma
Summary: I’m gonna say, this has some pretty heavy themes in here (mostly about trauma/PTSD). It may not suitable for everyone.Also I know I am not the best writer (just a disclaimer).
Relationships: Apprentice/Muriel (The Arcana), Muriel (The Arcana)/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	The Nightmare~ Muriel (Short Story)

I have many nightmares. But this is the worst one. 

It always starts the same way. It always ends the same way.

It never changes.

The rolling waves of the ocean are all I can hear at first. I look down, Asra’s limp body in my arms. I gently put him down to the soft sand. We are at the beach near the wharf where we used to sleep when we were kids. Dark miasma starts to cloud the sky, cloaking the sun’s rays. I peer all around me, the darkness swallows everything, the city, the ocean, all of it is dark and gray. They are no stars, no moon, no light. It feels colder. The air is stale.

Asra slowly opens his eyes, he reaches out of me, he weakly calls my name out. I cast my arm back to him. His fingers nearly touched mine, until….he yells. He's being dragged suddenly by something in the dark-- I don’t know what it is-- _I never do_. He screams in agony, “Help me!” Something with claws emerges from the darkness, their blood red eyes, and their razor sharp teeth smile evilly at me. I swear it has horns, and a strange animal like muzzle, but It's so hard to make out from the shadows.... It grabs Asra by the scruff of the neck, he keeps wriggling trying to get himself free. His screams are muffled as the creature’s hand covers it. It looks up at me, their smile widens and they disappear into the blackness, I try to run-- I try to catch them, but I can’t. They are always just out of my grasp. I run until I can no longer see them, I can no longer hear him. Dropping down to my hands and knees, overcome with despair. My eyes water, I want to cry, but nothing comes out of them. I try to scream his name, but something is stuck in my throat. I heave and clench my throat, but nothing comes out. A heavy rattling sound starts to creep behind me. Hundreds of chains slither all around, like large metal snakes and surround me. I get up and try to run away. But they strike and bind my entire body, I can’t move. I’m…I'm so scared. My body can’t stop shaking. A figure slithers out of the darkness, but this time, I know this one... it’s human. Lucio...

He stands over me, smiling wickedly at me, his eyes beaming down at me. He’s silent. He holds the end of the chains in his hands and he pulls me into a dark. Launching me into a pit filled with skulls, reeking of decay.

I spin around trying to look for a way out of this pit. But…..I...I am in the arena of the colosseum, I stand alone. The arena...it looks different. It is stained with patches of blackish tar. There are no spectators, just thousands of white eyes glaring, judging, gawking down upon me. My hair is long, a bloody axe is in my hands, I try to drop it, but the chains are wrapped around my wrist binding me to it. I can’t let it go. 

I can’t see Lucio’s face, only his silhouette sitting in his private box in the stands. His eyes glow in the darkness, the white around is iris change, starting to glow deep red, eerily just like the creatures that stole Asra. He is still holding the chains like puppet strings. He cackles making an almost inhuman sound from his lungs. He….. he has Asra’s scarf. It’s draped across his chest like a goddamn trophy— But where is he? He’s nowhere to be seen…

Lucio pulls his artificial golden hand up so I can see. It relieves more chains, he violently jerks them up, opening all the doors in the arena. Prisoners. Gladiators. Hundreds of them. They keep coming from all directions, charging at me, they--they want to kill me. I can not see their faces, _I never do_ , just their teeth snarling at me and their weapons in hand. They start to scream and yell, charging at me one by one, with murderous intent. I…. I can't die. I don’t want to die here. I need to find Asra. I can’t die alone, I can’t leave him like this. They start to jab and tear at my flesh. I try to cry out. Something is still stopping me— something is in my throat. I lift my axe. I start to swing and cut them down. One by one. They scream in pain as I hack off their limbs, their heads, whatever I can aim at---I just want them to stop. I don’t want to hurt them… but I don’t want my friend to die. They bite me, kick me, stab me-- but they all eventually stop moving. Breathless, blood painted across the area’s floor and walls, mixing in with the black sludgy tar. The air is cold, the arena is dead silent. The eyes in the stands…. They’re all gone. Even Luico has vanished. No trace of him.... or Asra.

My chains around my hands and neck are now slacked, I sever them as soon as I get the chance. I throw the blood covered axe down to the ground. I look down to my hands, they are drenched in thick blood. I can’t even wipe it off. Lifeless bodies litter the ground. I still can’t see their faces, I don’t want to see their faces. I don’t want to remember them. But then….I see one. A man. He’s cradling a body in his arms. Where did he come from? The head of the corpse, it’s nearly split in two from my axe, blood cover’s their upper body. The man’s eyes. Full of sorrow and anguish, tears streaming down his face. He’s shaking. He suddenly notices me. His gaze shoots up at me, sobbing, muttering repeatedly, “...You killed my boy...”

The body he’s holding. His face…. I...I can see it... he’s nearly completely disfigured, his eyes completely lifeless, but he was just a kid. No older than eighteen. He was just a teenager, he had a full life to live. And….. I… I just destroyed it. He holds the body closer to him. The man’s brow narrows hatefully, he starts to rock back and forwarth, still cradling his child. His eyes filled with pure malice screaming, “YOU FUCKER! YOU FUCKING KILL ME HIM! HE WAS JUST A BOY!!!!..H—he was just a boy!” The man’s cups the kid’s face, pressing what’s left of their forehead to his temple.

I drop to my knees, my body is trembling. I want to tell him, _“I’m sorry! I’m so so sorry! I—I didn’t want to! I never wanted to do this!”_...I open my mouth…..I still can’t speak. Only a deep, wet, sickly cough comes out. The black sludge that stains the area. It oozes from my mouth, I try to spit it out, it tastes so putridly, so vile. The man drops the body, crawls towards me on all fours like some kind of demon lizard... He starts to claw at my skin, pulling at my severed chains around my neck, screaming, “You fucking monster! _Scourge,_ you killed my son!!” Tears roll down my face, but only the black liquid slowly drips from them. It burns. The man’s voice starts to distort inhumanly. “Goddamn you! I curse you, Scourge! You will destroy everything you touch! _YOU WILL NEVER KNOW LOVE_!!” I try to push him away, he still has hold of chains around my throat. _I… I just wanted to see my friend again… I…. I didn’t want to be alone….I never wanted to hurt anyone. I never wanted to kill anyone!_

His face starts to melt, his tissue deteriorates into red and black slime, but his bones are still ripping into my skin. “My son! My son! Give me back my son!” _Just leave me alone… Get away from me! GET AWAY!_ I push him away forcing him off of me. He finally stops… His skull and part of his spine now in my hand. I shudder, throwing it down to the ground, it slowly boils into black goo, matching the black around the arena. The black tears on my face, they won’t stop— I want to cry out, I want to yell, but the black liquid still ejects from my mouth, choking me.

_I don’t want to be here anymore. I never want to come here again…._ I stand up slowly. I start to leave, the gates of the arena are wide open, my long hair, it falls out, leaving it short at my shoulders. I take a step out of the colosseum. A familiar voice calls my name. Asra!!! He’s ok— his eyes are tired and swollen. He looks so hurt.... He stands outside of the gates and reaches out for my hand. He’s…. holding something in the other…. _. is that a skull? Why does he have a skull?_

_“Murder...”_ Something icy cold grabs my ankles from behind me. _“Killer! SCOURGE OF THE SOUTH!”_ Piercing screeches emerge from behind me. _“YOU KNOW NOT OF LOVE! You know not of mercy!”_ The gate slam shut, throwing me back—Hundreds of hands and mouths formed from the blood and the black on the ground, the bodies of the fallen all disintegrated into the liquid, coming back to life in this blob of hate, death and decay. Hundreds of voices start to shrek, and screech from the bodiless mouths. They pull me down to the ground, I try to claw myself away— but there’s too many, the blood on my hands… It's too slippery. They repeat the same thing, over and over, all at different times, _it's so loud_. They pull me into a cold pool of red and black liquid, submerging me still screaming, _“MURDER!.... KILLER!..... SCOURGE!!”_

I—I can’t….breathe…. I can’t see anything but red and black. 

I’m drowning, I feel so alone.

Soon...I will be dragged down, all the way to the bottom. The red eyed creature is waiting, smiling, watching, enjoying me as I struggle to survive. It wants to plunge their claws into my chest, and rip my heart out.

I am powerless, I am voiceless. I am useless....I can only watch.

Eventually, I’ll stop fighting it…. _I deserve this. I should be dead…. Asra… he’ll be better off without me… no one needs you… you should be invisible. You shouldn’t exist._

This is always how it ends….

A small bright golden light flickers from the surface.

_Wait…this always ends the same way... what… What is that?_ A powerful rush of warm wind blows the blood and the black liquid away from my body, the voices shrek terribly as it retreats. I can breath once again. _I….I’m free?_ What is that thing? I want to look at it… but...It…it’s so bright… I have to partly cover my eyes to see it. It’s saying something, but I can’t hear it. The smell of chamomile, apple blossoms, and cinnamon washes over me. It flaps its magnificent wings, as it hovers over me _… A bird?._..flames cover its body. Their eyes, they stare at me warmly, they flicker of an ombre of fire red and chestnut brown. _Is… Is that a phoenix?_ _I’ve never actually seen one before._ It’s… It’s so beautiful…So enchanting. 

The red and the black muck, it recoils, screaming blood curdling shrieks as it rushes towards me again. _I…I don’t have time to run…_ I turn towards the tsunami of red and black and brace myself for the impact, covering my face with my arms. The phoenix's wings wrap all around me, the sludge cries out in pain it hits the flames of the bird’s wings, the sludge hisses. Light surrounds the phoenix and I, the darkness and black hastily retreating. The sludge evaporates into a golden mist. The embers. They consume my body, but they do not scorch my flesh. They don’t hurt. They’re warm, they feel so loving. So kind. It mutters words again as it’s head rests gently on my shoulder, the wings still wrapped around my chest. _“....I’m here...”_ it whispers.

My fingers clench it’s warm wings…They’re so soft..I….I don’t want to let go. “...Pl...Please...don’t forget me...” _My voice… I can speak! I…. I can be heard!_

_“...I will never forget you...”_ Its wings hold me tighter, comforting me. It feels good. I feel… safe... protected. I feel like I am whole…Tears drip down my face, but this time they’re clear. It doesn’t hurt.

The pain...the pain in my chest, it isn’t gone, but it’s better that it was alone. _“..Muriel…. Muriel…you need to wake up...”_ My body feels like it’s being shaken..I…I know that voice…. It's a beautiful voice. _“—Muriel, my love!.....Please wake up—!”_

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s the middle of the night. Muriel is having another nightmare. You try to shake him, and shake him, but it’s not working. Inanna whimpers and crawls into the bed next to him light head butting his legs, trying to her best to assist. You manage to scoop his head into your chest and lap, your arms tightly around his chest. You wipe the sweat from his brow. You’ve witnessed him having nightmares before, but not quite like this, this one is like he’s in a deep trance.

You usually can’t understand when he speaks in his sleep. But this time he looks like he’s in physical pain, “...Pl...Please…don’t forget me…” You hold back the tears in your eyes, the words just break your heart. Your greatest fear is forgetting him. The words hit you so hard. 

You squeeze him tighter, bringing him closer to you. Your forehead pressing to his temple, still rocking him back and forth trying to wake him. “I will never forget you…Muriel…. Muriel! You need to wake up!! This is just a bad dream!!” His hands cup your forearm. You can see his eyes darting side to side underneath his eyelids. “—Muriel, my love!.....Please wake up!”

His inhales sharply, his eyes suddenly fly open, a tear runs down his face…. He shudders, stiffening himself, looking around the room widely, completely disoriented. “Shhh….It’s ok, my love...” You comfort him, still cradling him in your arms, so relieved that he’s finally awake.

“—Rh….Rhemi?” He’s still shaken, he’s squeezes you tighter, still confused. Inanna comes and rests her head on his chest, looking anxiously up at him.

“I’m here, Muriel….” You run your fingers through his now sweaty hair kissing his temple.

He turns his face upwards, towards yours. “What...what’s—?

“You were having a nightmare…You—you weren’t waking up.” Inanna licks his hand.

He starts to relax. All three of you just lay there on the bed for awhile, listening to his breathing start to slow down.

“I’m... I’m alright, Rhemi..” He leans forward and you loosen your grasp, letting him move away. He sits himself to the end of the bed. He wipes the tears from his eyes hastily, sighing deeply, rubbing his face. You follow him, sitting behind him, your arm lightly draped around his chest, your head resting on his shoulder. He holds your hand that’s draped over him. You know he doesn't want to look at you, he looks so ashamed. “I’m...I’m sorry if I scared you…”

“Don’t worry about me,” you quickly wipe a tear forming in your eye before he could see. “...Are you alright?...I know you don’t like to talk about them…But you can if you want to.”

“I...I know….” He squeezes your hand. You lace your other arm around his chest, hugging him. You just want to be there for him. Kissing his shoulder lightly.

You both sit in silence for a while as he strokes Inanna’s head. It’s been almost a year since the masquerade. You’ve spent most of your nights together, and now that you were engaged, you never sleep alone. But he still won’t always talk about his dreams. You don’t ever push him to, you want to allow him to come to you about these things. When he’s ready. 

“...I’ve—I’ve had this one before…” He suddenly breaks the silence.

You lift your head off his shoulder, and rest your mouth on top of his scapula, listening to him intently. He rarely talks about dreams, let alone nightmares. But this one seemed so different.

“...I’ve had it countless times….It’s the same one I had back when we were traveling to the south…”

He has taken such a long time to open up to you. But you're shocked at his willingness to speak about any of this. You want to ask him so many questions, but you restrain yourself, you want to tread lightly. Trying to only ask basic things.“.... what’s it about?”

“It’s… it’s about a lot of things…I— I don’t even know where to start.” He sighs deeply, soundly a little overwhelmed. He pushes his hair out of his face with his free hand thinking about what he wants to say. “...it’s always the same—But this time… I was different. I don’t know why…”

“...How so?” You rub his back in circles, comforting him.

He breathes deeply. “I...I’m not sure...It’s…it’s just really hard to explain…I’m...I’m sorry, Rhemi..” He looks a bit frustrated, he stops. But you know he still wants to talk.

“.... it’s ok…” You kiss his shoulder and back of his neck. “...Don't force yourself…” Dreams can be very hard to explain for anyone. For Muriel explain normal things is difficult. So this is ten times worse. But you don’t ever mind waiting. You’ve waited this long, you’ll wait forever if you have to.

“—When...When I was in the colosseum...I told you how I was an executioner... I had to kill a lot of prisoners...” He chokes up a bit and sniffles trying to restrain the tears.

You rub his back in circles, comforting him. “It’s alright... just take your time…”

He clears his throat looking towards the dying embers of the fire, voice still shaky. “I...I had to execute a kid.”

Your heart breaks. He starts to shake his head, resentment and slight anger in his voice. “I…. I don’t even know what he did…But… he was just a teenager…after… after I…” He stops for a moment, shaking his head more. He can’t even get the words out. His shoulders clench. “...His—his father… He jumped into the arena… he just clenched the boy in his arms...crying… wailing...” You can feel Muriel’s tears drip onto your hand, you hold him tighter. “...I’m sorry…Rhemi..” He hastily tries to wipe them away.

“Shhh…no, don’t be… it’s ok…it’s ok to cry, Muriel.” This… this is so hard… No wonder he doesn’t want to ever speak about his time as a gladiator. This is awful.

“...He…. he was just a goddamn kid...” He hiccups, clenching onto your arm. His tears just keep falling. Inanna’s head in his lap affectionately nuzzles his knee, comforting him.

“...Your dream… it’s about them isn’t it?”

He nods his head slowly, “...I try....I try not to remember anyone face... But they’re faces...they haunt me…the man’s—he’s cries..his voice echo in my head...” You can’t hold your tears back anymore, it was dreadful what he had to do back then. “...it was...the worst day of my life…” You turn his trunk around, and he curls into your arms, sobbing, you hold him so tightly. You can’t think of anything to say. Nothing you can say will ever make that better. All you can do is be there for him ....Let him talk when he’s ready..

These memories are terrible. He had to do terrible things, but he never wanted to be a part of them. It will never change the way you feel about Muriel. He was never the monster—Lucio was. And he’s gone now.

He finally gets control of himself and he sits up again. You sit at the edge of the bed with him. He wipes the tears away, still apologizing. “...I’ve… I’ve never talked about it before.” You cup his face and his eyes met yours. Despite himself he grins a little, brushing his fingers against your cheek, you lean into his touch. He looks so relieved, like a weight on his heart was lightened.

“I love you, Muriel. I want you to talk to me when you need to.” You snuggle up to his chest. His hand holds the small of your back. “I’m glad you did, I think you needed to.”

He looks down towards the floor. “...But...this is a lot though.”

“It’s heavy, very heavy. Too much for even you to bear it...But we’ll get through this. Together.” He breathes deeply, and you listen to his heart beating, it's starting to sound normal again. He rests his head on yours. Inanna settles down not he floor next to him still curled up to his legs.

Muriel stiffens slight, like he wants to say something. “I...I think you were there…this time.” You pull away from his chest, meeting his gaze. “The—the dream I mean…”

“...I… I was?” You tilt your head thoughtfully. “...is that how it was different?”

He’s cheeks start to flush back to his iconic pink. “S-sorry—forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything… It’s weird.”

You shoot him a look, “It's not weird.” You want to know. He knows that you do.

He grumbles, scratching his chin. “... I—I think I’m done talking about my dreams for tonight...” Your face scrunches up a little, he frowns. “...Sorry, Rhemi.” 

You laugh a little and kiss him quickly on the lips. “Perhaps another night then.” You decide to take pity and drop it, for now at least.

He smiles back, “...perhaps.” You get off the bed, pulling your long sleeping shirt down, trying to keep yourself a little warmer. Then you place a log on the fire, conjuring a little magic on your fingers. You blow on it softly until the fire roars again, illuminating the hut. “How about some tea?” 

Muriel smiles warmly at you, tea always calms him down. You have a good blend of chamomile that helps him get to sleep. He nods and you start to make tea for the both of you. Inanna stays curled up next to Muriel, he scratches behind her ears as he waits.

You hand him his cup, he looks at it then to you again. He takes it and places it carefully on the stool next to him, still holding your hand, tugging you closer to him. His eyes are warm. “Rhemi…. I—I love you.” You smile. He doesn’t seem like the type, but he is so incredibly affectioned behind closed doors. You cup his face gazing at him lovingly, he leans into your touch, closing his eyes. “Thank you…”

“For what?” You run your fingers through his bangs pushing it out of his handsome face.

He looks down to Inanna, appearing a little sheepish. “...You know….For—for Always being there…. Being understanding… being…. patient.”

You kiss his forehead. “I love you too, Muriel...I’ll always be here. I’ll always wait for you.” He leans into you and kisses your lips. 

You sit down next to him on the bed and drink your tea. Holding his hand. Once you both finish, you place the empty cups on the table. They can wait until morning, with a flick of your wrist you choke the fire. Muriel and you curl together on the bed, Inanna at your feet. 

You wait until you see that Muriel has fall asleep before you let yourself get completely comfortable. Even though you dropped it, you still want to know what you were doing in his dream, hoping you were a positive part. _Guess... that can wait for later..._ You kiss his temple and whisper, “...I will still never forget you, Muriel... _Never.._ ”

**The end….**

**I do realize that this was a little silly of me to say “short story”, but for me, this** _**is** _ **a short story *shrugs*.**

**Also I know this is a bit different from my usual smut. But I Hope you guys enjoyed my trash anyways! =)**


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